...

Last night we had a massive chat.

We spoke about our feelings.

You said you worry about me when I drink.

I barely drink anymore.

I used to drink every weekend.

Now maybe once a month.

Yeah, I may have a couple of drinks here & there. 

But never any massive nights.

I am young.

I'm 19.

We are meant to drink, have fun & be crazy.

Please don't try & stop me.

Holding me back will only push me away.

We also spoke about you needing to spend more time with friends.

Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with you.

But we need to spend time with friends too.

We need a balance.

I really hope you understand that.

Today was really nice the two of us kinda hanging out in between me being on Tumblr & Facebook.

& you being on the playstation.

We have nearly been together 1 year & 10 months.

So stop thinking I am going to try & get with other people.

I LOVE YOU

& 

ONLY YOU!

The sooner you realise that, the better.

Just because I text other guys doesn't mean I like them in that way.

I've always got along better with guys.

Doesn't mean I want to try & get with them.

I have more close girl mates than guys anyways.

Well that's that little rant over & done with.

Today I stayed home cause I wasn't feeling well.

I still feel funny in my tummy.

Like I need to throw up.

But I can't.

I can only throw up when I am really hung over.

Chris & Matt thought I was throwing a sickie.

I'm seriously not.

I just don't mop around when I am sick I guess.

I got up & did the dishes & the washing.

I stayed in bed almost all day.

I will go to work tomorrow.

I really wanna make bonus.

It's frustrating the f**k out of me.

I need the extra money.

Chris can't get a student allowance this year cause his parents earned too much last year.

So I really wanna help him out & pay him back what I owe him.

I hate seeing him worried like this.

Chris looked really amazing today.

He was wearing his usual hoodie, grey shirt & jeans.

His hair was just normal.

But he looked perfect.

I just sat & stared into his eyes.

Like the world was paused for us to just have that moment.

It was like when I first saw him.

I think I fell in love with him all over again.

I kinda wish I went and stayed at the farm.

But it's cold & I wanted my bed.

I really think he is the one for me.

I know we have our rough patches & some days I just wanna quit.

But he is my world.

He is the one person in this world who knows the real me.

He knows exactly how to make me smile when I feel sad.

I love him so much.

So, I thought I'd lost weight & was looking good.

I weighed myself in the weekend and am down to 62kgs.

Which means I lost 3kgs.

But it doesn't look like I did.

I have stretch marks on my hips, bum & boobs.

Chris loves them.

But it's not exactly something I wanna be showing off when I'm in my bikini.

Well that's enough from me for now :)

xoxo