Friendship

I'm not going to lie, I have always had troubles with friends.

I've always been too nice, & get walked all over.

Not by all of them, but the majority.

So I started standing up for myself.

I am always open to give people second chances.

I gave one of my best friends a second chance a few months ago after she really upset me.

But, she has gone & done the same thing again.

I didn't listen to Mum, friends or Chris because I thought it was a once off thing.

Guess I was wrong.

She's hurt me again.

I understand everyone has problems, but sometimes, I just need someone to talk to too.

I can't always be there for everyone else.

Most of my other best friends understand that.

They are all spread around the country/world.

We don't talk everyday, but that's okay.

They don't mind & neither do I.

One thing that really fucks me off is when people think they know me.

The last time I was hurt by my best friend I stopped talking to her about Chris.

I didn't tell her bad stuff cause she judged me & told me to leave him.

I didn't tell her good stuff because I didn't want to upset her since she had recently been through a rough break up.

It started being all about her again.

I couldn't even talk to her about what was going on in my life.

I wasn't trying to avoid her etc.

Although she thought that.

I get so frustrated.

I've given up trying to fix shit now.

I've got my own problems.

Family problems.

Chris & Li are keeping me going.

They listen & advise me on what I need to do without judging me.

I'm starting fresh.

I'll miss this friendship, but it's not healthy for me.

Mum's been worried, Chris has been trying to support me too.

But I've finally realised after last week, some people never change.

I'm guttered.

So, here is to the start of a new life :)