How I got to where I am today.

A Brief Insight Into How I Got To Where I Am Today.

It all started when I moved to Hamilton in Feb 2010.

I was in Kotare block at the Wintec Student Village.

I had moved down with my bf at the time.

We weren't getting along very well.

He was getting quite controlling & I was getting sick of it.

One day this handsome guy happened to be visiting someone at the village.

They were all talking on the deck outside my block.

I had no make-up on & my hair was a mess.

Wasn't expecting to make an impression on anyone new that day.

Little did I know Mr Perfect noticed me.

That night my bf at the time had gone to town.

Leaving me alone at the Village yet again.

Who knows what he was doing in town.

Probably cheating on me.

Wouldn't be surprised.

I, as usual was online on Facebook.

Still thinking about the hot guy in Roman sandals from Hamilton Boys High.

I thought to myself, 'I wonder if he has facebook?'

This is when it all started.

First of all I added his younger brother Ryan on accident.

Not knowing exactly which brother I had met.

Finally I found him.

My Prince Charming.

I anxiously pressed the Add Friend button.

It felt like an eternity but after a little wait I got a notification to say "Chris Walker has accepted your friend request."

That changed everything.

Nothing was going to be the same after that.

I instantly emailed him asking him if it was him who had visited his sister at the village today.

He replied saying yes.

I was shaking.

I wondered if he even remembered me.

We chatted for awhile until he had to get off.

My heart sunk.

I wanted to talk to him all night.

So I asked for his number.

Expecting a no, I was surprised to see his digits appear on my screen.

My heart was now beating so fast.

It felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

He said bye & logged off.

In my head I thought 'Is it too soon to text him?'

I texted him pretty much straight away.

He replied again.

OMG

Is this actually happening?

It felt like a dream.

From that day on I'd text him whenever I wasn't with my bf.

Every night I would think about him.

I'd dream about him sometimes too.

I was obsessed.

I wanted him so bad.

I didn't know what to do.

I wasn't single even though I wish I was.

In my head I thought it was okay, Josh & I aren't working anyway.

This will make it easier for me to leave him.

I was falling for this handsome prince.

He had changed my life in one day.

A couple of weeks texting passed & I wanted to hang out with him.

He'd told me he had a game on at boys high the next day.

It had come time to tell Sarah I was talking to her brother.

She didn't care (from what she told me).

We both went to his game the next day.

I got out of the car & he waved at me.

That wave gave me the warm fuzzies.

I was so nervous.

I was about to meet his Mum!

We weren't even going out yet!

After his game finished we watched his younger brother play.

I just wanted to kiss him.

He looked so hot.

I wanted to take him back to mine.

But it wasn't going to happen.

The Monday following the game I went and saw Chris after school.

I had a big decision to make.

It wasn't going to be easy.

I knew after hanging with him that he was who I wanted to be with.

That night I got to the village.

I told Josh to meet me in my room.

I broke up with him.

He cried and begged for me to stay with him.

It was so hard.

We'd spent one & a half years together & I was about to end it all for a guy I barely knew.

The next day we kinda got back together. 

I didn't want to.

I told him he was on his last chance.

That weekend I'd organised to go to the movies with Chris.

We watched Iron Man 2.

Not that I was watching much of the movie.

I had butterflies.

I wanted to kiss him sooo bad.

I was good though.

He came back to my room to wait for his Dad to pick him up.

We watched a couple more movies.

Josh knew I was with him.

He came to my room to tell me he was going to Pukekohe for the night.

He told me he didn't wanna hear from me.

I didn't really care.

My feelings for him were gone & had been for a while.

He had hurt me so much over the last few months that I was numb to him.

Once he left I knew my guard with Chris was going to come down.

He was so hot & smelt so good.

I couldn't resist it any longer.

We were watching the orphan.

I kept moving closer & closer to him.

My heart was racing.

I finally looked up at him & saw his eyes.

I looked to his lips & kissed them.

It was absolutely the most magical kiss I've ever had.

Shortly after that kiss Josh rang me to let me know he'd arrived home in Pukekohe.

I told him I couldn't be with him anymore.

He wasn't good for me.

He was controlling everything I did, right down to what I was wearing.

He was so mad with me but I had to do it.

A few rough weeks passed.

Chris & I weren't properly together but man was it fun.

One night we were watching TV when I heard a knock on the door.

Josh had been laying outside my bedroom door listening to Chris & I.

He came barging in & shoved me onto the bed.

I'd never seen him so angry.

He took the speakers he gave me for Christmas.

Was yelling at Chris.

I told him to go & tell Sarah what was happening.

As soon as Chris left the room Josh pushed me again.

He was yelling at me & calling me a slut.

(For your information I am not. At that point had only had sex with Josh. Have since had it with Chris now too!)

I was curled up in a ball on my bed crying.

I was terrified.

I had no idea what he was going to do.

He was furious.

Finally I got him out of my room.

Over the next few weeks I had to put up with everyone hating me.

I had his family threatening me.

He was threatening me.

I was scared.

I knew I had done the right thing.

EVERYONE who judged me & took his side had no idea of what he'd put me through.

I lost so many friends choosing Chris over him.

I didn't care.

I was happy with Chris.

I still am.

He treats me like his princess.

He kisses me on my forehead.

He doesn't force me to have sex with him when I don't want to.

He doesn't tell me who I can & can't see.

He doesn't care what I wear.

He actually likes to kiss me.

He is perfect.

I know maybe I didn't go about it the right way.

It was a really messed up situation.

But I've learnt lots from it.

June 3rd was my birthday.

Chris stayed at mine for the first time that night.

We still weren't going out.

He cuddled me that night & made everything better.

On the 5th June 2010

Chris was going to come to my parents with me for my birthday.

I was turning 18.

My two best friend Rhi & Gabs were going to be there.

We all drank too much & had fun.

That night something so amazing happened.

I asked Chris to go out with me after we'd just had the most special moment ever.

He said yes.

I was so happy. 

I know he was too.

The next morning I told my best friends.

They were so happy for me.

Finally life was back on track.

Soon after all the drama I moved out of the village.

I'd failed my Photography course.

I was poor.

I needed a new start.

I went & got a new job at Hannah's.

I worked Sunday's & the occasional day during the week.

It was just about summer & life was going good.

I was heading away with Chris & his family to Anaura Bay for the summer.

I was so excited.

We were going for two weeks.

Camping is so fun & camping with Chris is even better.

I met his friends & we had endless days of playing cricket.

It was great to be out of Hamilton & away from the dramas of life.

The two weeks there went way too fast.

But I will always have memories from there.

A couple of months later I was getting frustrated about money.

Sarah & I had just moved house in with a couple of our friends.

I was stressed.

I wasn't able to have fun because my Sunday work at Hannah's just wasn't paying the bills.

It was time to look for a new job.

I applied at so many different part time jobs around Hamilton.

No one wanted to hire me.

Finally I realised I need a full time job.

I saw an ad for HRV on Trade Me.

I applied & the next day had the boss ring up asking if I'd like to come in for an interview.

I was over the moon.

So I went in for my interview & did an hour of obs.

A couple of days later I had a full time job as Filter Change Coordinator at HRV Waikato.

Its now been 7 months & I am still there.

Durning that 7 months Chris & I celebrated being together for 1 year.

I moved into a place on my own.

My pa passed away.

I lost a few friend but gained lots of new ones.

I made some stuff ups but learnt from them too.

It's nearly been 16 months since Chris & I started going out.

Although we have our ups & downs he has truely made me happy.

I can't imagine life without him.

I love him so much.

Well I hope that this little story has helped people understand me a little better.

If not, well tough.

It's my life & I live it how I want.

xoxo

Ashie